


I Only See You

by OnceBlinkInsomniac



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Reader Insert, hint of heechuu, very slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:41:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceBlinkInsomniac/pseuds/OnceBlinkInsomniac
Summary: Based on a prompt I got on tumblr which asked for Y/N getting jealous because of people shipping 2Jin
Relationships: Kim Hyunjin/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	I Only See You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this was based on a request I got on tumblr. My tumblr is OnceInsomniac in case anyone wants to request anything. Enjoy :)

Despite popular belief, you weren’t naïve. You’d known what you were signing up for when you started dating an idol. You’d been more than understanding thought. After all, Hyunjin was more than worth it. You’d known her for years, having been childhood best friends since that day so long ago when an eight-year-old Hyunjin had appeared out of nowhere and shoved the slightly older boy who had been bullying you to the ground. She’d then taken you by the hand and dragged you to the other side of the playground where she then proceeded to sit in silence and simply watch you. You’d been intrigued by the fearless yet quiet girl and had decided to stick by her side from then on.

Flashforward to when you both were fourteen years old and Hyunjin decided she wanted to audition for BBC, a small company for idols. You knew she’d always loved singing and performing and you urged her to go for it when she first told you. You accompanied her to that first audition and went out and brought her all the bread you could afford when she got the news that she had passed.

Things had moved quickly after that. She had moved to a dorm with the other trainees and suddenly, all her time was occupied by constant training whenever she wasn’t in school. You went from seeing her every single day to maybe once a week. Sometimes not even that. Things got even worse once she told you that her company was making her give up her phone until she debuted.

It was difficult at first, adjusting to the sudden absence of your best friend. But you didn’t want to add any more stress to her already stress-filled life so you put a smile whenever you got the chance to see each other and you were always there to cheer her up whenever things got too hard and she contemplated quitting. Reminding her of all that she had sacrificed to pursue her dreams. You were her number one supporter.

Even after years had passed with you both barely seeing each other, she never stopped being your best friend. It was rare that BBC would give her a free day but she spent each and every one of those with you. And it didn’t matter if you hadn’t seen each other in months. The moment you were back together it was as thought you’d never been apart in the first place.

You’d been the first person she’d called after she had gotten news that she had been chosen as the second girl for the new girl group Loona, having gotten her phone privileges back at the same time. You’d spent that whole night talking on the phone, catching up on everything that you had missed from each other’s lives in the last few months where you hadn’t gotten the chance to see each other.

It was there that she told you all about her fellow trainees. One name, however, kept being brought up. Heejin, another girl from the Loona lineup that was set to debut first. She told you about how friendly the slighter girl had been, even organizing a small celebration for her once she found out Hyunjin was officially part of the lineup. She also told you about the other three girls that were part of the lineup.

Two older girls named Haseul and Kahei and one younger one named Yeojin. She ranted about how nice they all seemed but she was especially set on Heejin. You could feel slight jealousy forming in the pit of your stomach, imagining Hyunjin finding a new best friend and replacing you. You shoved it down, however, and instead listened to her rant all night long, unable to stop smiling at the clear excitement that could be heard in the usually quiet girl.

After Loonatv was first released, you watched every single episode the second it was out and you quickly understood Hyunjin’s affections for Heejin. You didn’t even know her and you still liked her immensely anyways. There was something charming about her and it was clear that she was a good person. You were glad that Hyunjin had someone like that in her corner, even though you still wished it could be you.

Eventually, it was finally Hyunjin’s turn to debut and you eagerly watched her arc in lonnatv. You were quick to call her and tease her about how her obsession with bread was made clear since the beginning. You smiled as you watched Heejin and Hyunjin growing closer in each episode.

During this time, while you definitely texted daily, you still didn’t see her as much as you’d like, as she was busy travelling all over and filming music videos. And when you did hang out, you always went out. It wasn’t until a few months later, after all the girls had been revealed, that you actually got the chance to meet them.

Though you already felt like you knew them all, from hearing Hyunjin talk about them constantly. It amused you, how she tried to put up a serious, uninterested front yet couldn’t help but talk about them constantly when it was just the two of you. Even if it was just to complain about the maknae’s latest antics. She tried to sound annoyed but you could hear the fondness in her tone. You couldn’t imagine how orbits would react if they ever saw this side of Hyunjin. Not that you would ever point it out, considering she would, most certainly, kill you.

Hyunjin had invited you to go visit her backstage and watch Loona’s debut concert and you had eagerly agreed, wanting to finally meet these girls you’d been watching on your screen for more than a year now. A tall, scrawny guy who had introduced himself as their manager had led you to the waiting room where the girls were preparing for the concert. All the heads in the room had immediately swiveled towards you the second you entered the room but you didn’t even get the chance to say hi before Hyunjin was wrapping you in a tight hug.

After she had finally let go of you, she led you closer to the girls. Your heart fluttered when you heard her introducing you as her best friend. One by one, the girls introduced themselves to you, with Heejin teasing Hyunjin by telling you of how often she talked about you. You got along with them really well and soon found yourself exchanging phone numbers and becoming friends with the others.

After that, it became quite normal to find you hanging out in the dorms, even when Hyunjin wasn’t there. It was about a year after they had all debuted and around the beginning of the butterfly era when things started to change between the two of you. You started getting nervous around her, which was just plain weird at first considering how long you’d known each other. Hyunjin had seen you at your worst. You could feel your heart threatening to jump out your chest from how hard it was pounding each time you were alone with her.

You weren’t stupid. You knew what it all meant. Somehow, someway, you’d fallen for your best friend. And you’d fallen hard. It should have scared you, the uncertainty that came with giving your heart to someone else. Allowing them the power to hurt you in the worst ways possible. But it didn’t. Because this wasn’t just anyone. It was Hyunjin. The girl who had saved you all those years ago from that bully and who continued to save you for years after. You trusted her to keep your heart safe.

That didn’t mean that you were planning on letting her know about your feelings though. After all, you didn’t want things to change between the two of you. You were happy just being her best friend. A sentiment that didn’t seem to be shared by the other members unfortunately.

You had gotten a text from Sooyoung inviting you to hang out at the dorms one day. You’d quickly accepted, having nothing else to do, and made your way to their dorm. The last thing you’d been expecting when you got there was for a serious looking Jinsol to greet you by the door and wordlessly take you to the living room where all the girls, except Hyunjin, were clearly waiting for you. Gone were their usual smiles and easy-going nature, replaced by serious looks.

“Is there something wrong?” you wondered aloud, confused by what was going on. “Sit” was the only response as Jungeun pointed towards the couch. You hesitated briefly before obeying, glancing nervously at the threatening look Hyejoo was shooting you from the side. You fidgeted in place as the silence stretched on until Heejin finally broke it. “So, you have feelings for you Hyunjin, huh?” It was a question but it sounded more like a statement coming from Heejin’s mouth.

She was standing in front of you, arms crossed and eyebrows raised questioningly and you briefly wondered how exactly was it possible that someone so cute could look so intimidating. Actually, that statement was true for the rest of the girls too as you were also a bit scared by the expression on their faces.

“Of course. She’s my best friend. I love her”, you stated, trying to play it off. Unfortunately for you, they were more perceptive than you’d given them credit for and didn’t buy it for a second. “Don’t deny it. You’re in love with her. Otherwise, why else would you stare at her like a love-struck fool anytime she’s around?” Sooyoung said.

You blushed, knowing that they were right. Although you’d really thought you’d hid it better. “So it’s true, then? You admit it?” Jiwoo asked. You nodded your head almost imperceptibly, knowing it was useless to continue denying it. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but it definitely wasn’t the squealing that came out of Jiwoo as she threw her arms around you in a hug. All the girls smiled, cold looks immediately vanishing at your words. “About time”, Yerim exclaimed.

“Wait, what?” you said, confusion only increasing. Jiwoo let go of you, straightening back up. “We’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses for a while now. Speaking of which, you owe me 20 bucks.” The last part was directed towards Jungeun who sighted before nodding. “You were betting on this?” you asked, internally debating whether or not you should be offended at that or surprised at the fact that they’d apparently realized your feelings for your best friend before even you did.

“So you’re okay with this?” you asked hesitantly, remembering how unfriendly they’d looked just moments ago. “Of course we are. We’ve seen how you look at her and how much you care about her. We approve 100%” Chaewon said. You sighted in relief before the next words reached your ears. “Of course if you dare hurt her we’ll have no choice but to kick your ass”, Yeojin said. You stared at her in shock for a few seconds, not expecting those words from the maknae. You were unsure about whether to laugh but immediately decided against it at the serious look on the younger girl’s face. Instead you simply nodded your head, acknowledging her words.

Yerim suddenly started clapping her hands excitedly. “What now? How are you going to confess?” she asked you. Similar questions started sprouting from the other girls, some even offering their help. You started shaking your head vehemently, standing up abruptly. The sudden motion caught their attention and they finally fell silent, waiting for you to speak. “I’m not confessing”, you said. “No way.”

“What? Why the hell not?” Yeojin exclaimed and you had to force yourself not to laugh at the chagrined look on the younger girl’s face as both Sooyoung and Haseul, who were both standing on either side of her, instantly slapped the back of her head lightly at her language.

“Seriously though. You’re so obviously in love with her that it’s actually kind of gross. Why wouldn’t you tell her that?” Hyejoo stated, scrunching her nose up as if even the idea of love irked her. You sighted in defeat, knowing from experience that your friends were very stubborn people and wouldn’t stop until they got an answer.

“Because, what if I tell her I love her more than I ever even though it was possible to love someone and she doesn’t feel the same way? What then? She’s my best friend, you guys. I can’t risk that by telling her how I feel.” Silence greeted your admission and prompted you to lift your gaze from the ground. You were confused by the deer caught in headlights expressions that they were all sporting, looking behind you. You followed their gazes and felt your heart stop when your eyes met Hyunjin, who had apparently been standing behind you for god knows how long.

Her mouth was agape as she stared at you expressionless. “You know what, I just remembered that I forgot something in the practice room. I’m just going to go get it real quick”, Jungeun stated before quickly walking out the room, avoiding your gaze as she walked past. Similar exclaims came from the others, stating how they needed to go help Jungeun find her thing or, in Yerim’s case, how she needed to go feed her cockroaches, as they all quickly filed out. In a matter of seconds, you and Hyunjin were the only people left in the dorm.

You felt your hands getting sweaty as your nerves worsened with each second of silence that went by. Hyunjin hadn’t moved an inch, her eyes still burning into yours. “Look, I’m really sorry. You weren’t meant to hear that”, you finally said. You sighed in frustration as she continued to stare at you in complete silence. “You know what, I think I’m just going to go”, you muttered nervously. “I truly am sorry.” You started walking towards her, needing to walk by her to get to the door. You had just passed her when her arm suddenly shut out and grabbed your forearm, yanking you back towards her.

You didn’t even have time to react before she was pressing her lips against your own. Your lips moved against her own instinctively, the familiar smell of her sweet perfume filling your senses. Her lips tasted like the strawberries she’d had earlier along with a faint trace of bread which honestly didn’t surprise you. Her hands moved down to your waist and you briefly wondered where you should put your hands. She pulled away, however, before you could decide.

“Sorry, I got tired of waiting.” She huffed. You stared at her, mouth agape. “Wait, what?” Hyunjin laughed at your awe-struck face. “I knew you liked me. I’d been waiting for you to make your move but apparently, from what I heard, you hadn’t been planning on doing anything” she explained. You stared at her wordlessly, trying to process the sudden rush of emotions.

“You seriously like me back?” you finally asked. Hyunjin rolled her eyes fondly. “Oh my god, you better not start crying Y/N”, she told you. “Now come on. We’re having dinner and you’re paying.” Before you knew it, Hyunjin was dragging you out the door. “Oh, and remind me to kill Heejin and the others when we get back.” And that is how your best friend became your girlfriend. And you couldn’t have been happier.

\-------------

It was near the end of their so what promotions that things started to go wrong. You'd have been aware of how much orbits loved the pairing of Heejin and Hyunjin, even nicknaming them 2jin. It was something you honestly understood. After all, you knew how close the two girls were and had seen their friendship grow firsthand. It’d never really bothered you, besides a little in the beginning back when you didn’t know Heejin and were worried that she was going to take your spot as Hyunjin’s best friend.

What you hadn’t realized, however, was just how many of them viewed 2jin as a romantic ship, not just a platonic friendship. It wasn’t until you decided to surprise Hyunjin one day by buying a ticket to their meet and greet that you realized it.

You were sitting at the very back of the audience, not wanting the members to see you until it was your turn to go up and greet them. You were excited to see their reactions. Especially your girlfriends’. You were busy taking pictures of them with your phone when a girl a few seats ahead of you started shouting at Heejin and Hyunjin to kiss.

You brushed it off until the request was suddenly being repeated by various other orbits. You were sure that the girls were going to act like they hadn’t heard anything but were surprised to see Heejin lean over and plant a kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek, a mischievous look in her eyes. What bothered you, however, was the blush that painted Hyunjin’s cheeks and the victorious smile on Heejin’s face as the audience immediately started shouting their approval.

Logically, you knew that Heejin was just teasing Hyunjin. She was your friend and she would never actually try to move in on your girlfriend. Especially since you happened to know of a not so small crush that she harbored for none other than Jiwoo. Unfortunately, your mind didn’t feel like listening to your logical side, confused by why you felt so bothered by what had been nothing more than two friends up to their usual antics.

Wordlessly, you stood up and hurriedly walked out the room with LOONA none the wiser that you had even been there in the first place. That night, you sat on your bed with your computer in front of you, watching every 2jin video and compilation that filled the internet till the early morning. The heavy feeling in your gut only got worse with each new video and you found yourself unable to tear your eyes away from the thousands of comments underneath each video talking about how perfect Heejin and Hyunjin were for each other.

It’d never bothered you before, keeping your relationship a secret. After all, you knew that Korea wasn’t exactly welcoming to the idea of idols dating, much less idols dating someone of the same gender. But you couldn’t help but be bothered now by people shipping your girlfriend with someone else that wasn’t you. Even if you knew that nobody even knew of your existence.

What bothered you the most, however, was that some small part of you agreed with all the comments. After all, you yourself had seen how close they were and you knew for a fact that Heejin was a great girl and would probably make Hyunjin really happy. Maybe even more than you.

After all, you were just a normal person. You could never truly understand what idol life really entailed and that was such a huge part of your girlfriend which you would never be able to relate to. Heejin, meanwhile, understood perfectly the pressures of idol life and, being in the same group as her, could always be there for her when she needed someone. Unlike you who barely even got the chance to see her because of how busy you both were.

Before you knew it, incessant thoughts filled your mind as old insecurities flared up. Thoughts telling you that you weren’t good enough for her. That you could never make her as happy as Heejin. You didn’t sleep a wink that night.

The next morning you decided against sending Hyunjin the morning text you always sent her and instead headed off to your morning classes. You were currently a sophomore in college. You decided against bringing your phone, knowing you would spend the whole day obsessing more over 2jin videos and because you weren’t ready to face Hyujin yet after the day before but wouldn’t be able to ignore her if she called.

The day went by slowly as the same thoughts from the night before preyed on your mind. You hated feeling this way. Especially because you knew that it was just your insecurities feeding you these thoughts but that just made you want to steer clear from Hyunjin even more. After all, you didn’t want to hurt her by making her think that you didn’t trust her or put any more stress on her. You’d rather deal with your problems alone.

You arrived home late that night and saw that your phone, which was still sitting on your night stand where you’d left it, had run out of battery but decided against charging it. You didn’t want to worry Hyunjin but you knew that if you talked to her you would end up telling her everything and she didn’t need your problems on top of hers. Instead, you decided to give it some days. Just enough time to get over the heavy feeling in your gut before facing her again.

With that in mind, you went about your usual nightly routine before going to bed early. You’d usually end up going to sleep until very early in the morning after spending the whole night talking with Hyunjin on the phone and it felt weird going to sleep so early. You’d gotten used to functioning with only a few hours of sleep a night.

The next morning you got up an hour before your alarm was set to go off and decided to get an early start on the day, knowing you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. You changed into your favorite pair of jeans and a black hoodie, after a quick shower, not feeling up to putting any more effort into your outfit.

By that time, there was about an hour left before you had to leave and you headed off to your kitchen for some coffee. You grabbed your favorite cup from the cabinet before starting the coffee machine. A cough suddenly sounded behind you, making you jump at the unexpected sound. You quickly turned around only to come face to face with none other than the person you were trying to avoid.

“Want to tell me why my girlfriend is avoiding me”, Hyunjin stated rather coldly, arms crossed in front of her chest. You didn’t answer immediately, still stunned by her sudden appearance in your apartment. You’d forgotten that she had an extra key in case of emergencies. “What are you doing here?” you asked after a few moments, wincing at the unintended harshness in your voice.

Hyunjin, however, seemed unaffected by it, the cold look remaining. Minutes passed as the silence stretched on before you finally broke. You knew from experience that Hyunin could and would stand there all day staring you down if needed. “Look, it’s stupid”, you said.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened slightly at the defeat in your tone. She wordlessly took your hand and led you to the living room, sitting you both down on the couch. She didn’t say anything, simply turning her body to face you and waiting for you to continue. She didn’t seem as angry as earlier but she still wasn’t happy with you and you knew that you had to make things right so you sighed and started explaining what had made you act this way. Hyunjin didn’t say a word the whole time, waiting until you were done.

Afterwards, you started getting more nervous as she still didn’t say anything. You continued avoiding her eyes however, looking down at your hands as you were too ashamed to face her. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but it definitely wasn’t for her to suddenly punch you in the arm. “Ow, what the heck Hyunjin”, you exclaimed, finally looking up at her.

The look on her face was one of clear exasperation as she ignored your complaint. “You’re an idiot”, she told you. Despite the words, there was a clear fondness in her voice that made you feel better. She wrapped her arms around you, bringing you in for a hug. “I know I don’t say it enough but you should know by now that I don’t want anyone else. You’re it for me. I only see you. It’s been that way ever since you were just a scrawny eight-year-old with eyes that were just pleading for someone to help you.”

The last part was said in a teasing tone and you playfully pushed her away, taking the time to quickly brush away a tear. It wasn’t often that Hyunjin said things like this, always having been more of showing affection with actions than with words. But hearing her made you realize just how stupid you’d been for thinking that pushing her away was the right answer. Because if she was right about something it was about you being it for each other.

You weren’t usually so emotional but you could feel tears threatening to come out. “Oh, by the way, I’m so telling Heejin that you were jealous of her.” And just like that, the emotional moment was broken as you immediately started chasing the other girl around, shouting threats which only served to amuse the other girl even more.

\----------

Your insecurities didn’t disappear completely. After all, these things take time and there were still some deeper issues you need to talk out, especially about the root of your insecurities being that you didn’t feel like you could really be a pillar of support for her when you didn’t truly understand a huge part of her life. But for now, you’d been reminded that you didn’t have to face them alone. Because you had her at your side, and that would never change. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. If so, comments are greatly appreciated


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